It’s 8.40 pm on the last day of 2003, and the fireworks have started up again. I’m glad I’m inside with double-glazing because I dislike the noise almost as much as the cat does, though I probably like the visual effects much more than he does.

2003 has been a year of ups & downs. I suppose that could be said of all years, but I think I’ve felt it more this year. Maybe.

The end of 2002 had been quite stressful as we watched Thelma, Martin’s mum, accept defeat and suggest that she would be better off in (what she called) an Old People’s Home. We were grateful that the suggestion came from her, and it was a relief to think that she would be looked after properly, and around the clock, but it was a sad time; the end of an era. Now it can be hard to remember what a determined & capable woman she used to be.

I had great hopes that Martin’s 50^th birthday in January would be a spectacular affair, but as it grew closer I realised I was going to fail to organise anything more than a damp squib. I think we were both too exhausted to cope with anything exciting at the time.

So, no party, some boring presents, probably something nice to eat & only a promise of something exciting when & if we got round to it. There was talk of a day in a racing car or a tank, but it hasn’t happened yet.

GETTING THE HEALTH STUFF OVER WITH EARLY

My diary is most unhelpful in telling me what I did this year, but I do remember feeling tired and ill for most of it. What kept me going was the hope that a newly available replacement therapy would give me the boost that I needed.

“My” endocrinologist prescribed it for me towards the end of February, but it turned out that it wasn’t available in Britain and the Out Patients’ Pharmacy didn’t have, and never had had, any in stock.

After some help from the internet they tracked the stuff down and ordered some from America, where it’s available over the counter as a “Life-Style drug”. As far as I’m concerned it’s a replacement medication to help compensate for my total lack of adrenal glands. It’s called Dehydroepiandrosterone, not surprisingly more often referred to as DHEA! (An internet search on Dehydroepiandrosterone comes up with some helpful summaries of what it is and what it does, mainly from companies who provide (sell) health supplements. A UK-only search seems to find more serious research papers, which are a lot harder for most of us to follow!)

I eventually got my hands on my first DHEA tablets on April 3. To cut a rather long (and probably dull) story shorter, it’s taken a very long time for me to feel any benefit, but at last, I do. I’m still not even close to being Superwoman, but I feel fitter and brighter than I remember doing for a long time. Which is just as well because our problems aren’t over yet.

The downside of the wonders of DHEA — there’s always something — is that it doesn’t help my joint pain as much as I’d hoped, and . . . I have acne again!!!!

When I last had acne (starting in 1979) it came as a total shock. I’d been reasonably clear-skinned throughout my life, including my teens, and I never expected to start getting zits in my 20s.

Just at the moment it’s not anything like as bad as this, and I’m trying to find the right dose of DHEA which will give me the energy I need with a minimum of skin problems.

(In evangelical mode, if you’re interested in pituitary disorders — and there are a few to choose from — you probably couldn’t make a better start than to look at www.pituitary.org.uk .)

Kathie modelling typical Cushinoid features

FAMILY & FRIENDS

Meanwhile, my older niece and nephew-in-law, Lizzi & Ian had their second child, Dominic, early in the morning of 10 March 2003. My parents & I visited (by coach) at the end of March to beginning of April to meet him and stayed with my sister, Janet (photo on Joyce’s page), in Newbury. It’s a long journey by coach & we resolved to do it by train next time.

One Sunday morning, towards the end of April, Martin & I had a big surprise. The phone rang and Martin took it in another room as I was listening to the radio. I could make out that the caller was a friend, and that Martin was pleased to hear from him or her, but it was someone he hadn’t heard from for a long time. As the conversation went on I used my special powers of detection (“eavesdropping technique”) to work out who the caller was. By the time Martin had come back into the room I had narrowed down the possibles to one person, so I shouldn’t have been so gobsmacked, when Martin handed the phone over, to hear the voice of my ex-husband. But then, it had been 20 years since we were last in contact and I’d just about got used to the idea that Mike didn’t want to have anything to do with us.

The three of us met up soon after, at a pub half-way between here & where Mike lives in Yorkshire. Mike knew that we’d all been invited to a party in May, & thought it would help to get to know each other again before that.

So, on 17 May, Martin & I went to John & Sheila’s housewarming in Hull, staying for the night in Beverley at the Dog & Duck with (or near to) several others who had been at the party, including John, Sheila, Mike and Lesley. (See pictures) It was great to meet John’s sister, Jane, at the party. We used to be at school together (though I confess I’m a bit older than Jane), and always got on well. And I was pleased to meet her husband (Jon) for the first time.

The day after we got home we had torrential rain, which caused a leak in Thelma’s roof. We’ve been very fortunate that Thelma’s next-door neighbour, Betty, has kept an eye on the bungalow during the time it’s been empty and for sale. She has done daily checks on the house and, on this occasion, put down buckets and bowls to catch the drips. Luckily the leak was a one-off.

By June Martin & I were frantically trying to finish off the Year End Accounts which we did by the end of the month, largely due to Martin’s efforts.

In August this year it was Martin’s turn for an operation. I expect he’ll tell you all about it from his point of view on his own page, but I found it a very scary time! As I had suspected, it was far harder to cope with him being fiddled with than it was when I was being “done”. I was amazed at how quickly he recovered from his op, and with hardly any pain relief. I’ve always known he’s brave and sensible, but I needed to be reminded.

The timing of his op meant that we didn’t think about going on holiday in the summer; and the weather here was so good, of course, that we didn’t miss out on the sunshine.

In fact, I got a little too much of the hot weather earlier in August when my parents & I went to Newbury on the train(s). We had opted to go to Newbury for Dominic’s Christening by train, thinking it would be quicker & more pleasant; a bad move as it turned out because the very hot weather was melting the tracks and our first train was cancelled. We eventually arrived, damp, crumpled and exhausted, via a slightly different, more complicated route. The return journey was, thankfully, far less eventful.

In September we had a weekend of parties: Paul & Jayne’s 200^th (along with another couple) and Liz’s not quite 50^th in Oxford. By then, Martin was able to drive all the way to Oxford and back in a day — which was fortunate.

At the end of September Martin, Mum (Joyce) & I travelled — by train again, but rather more elegantly in the cooler weather — to London to meet up with my sister, brother-in-law, and Pam & Nigel Jay (members of the BBC Philharmonic Orchestra) for the event of the year. In June, Joyce had heard that she was going to be presented with a medal by the Finnish Ambassador at his Residence in Kensington Palace Gardens. A never-to-be-repeated experience (we thought). We’re all very proud of her. (More on that story on her own page.)

At the beginning of December, Joyce & I went (by coach!) to stay with my sister in Newbury again. Joyce had been invited back to the Finnish Residence for drinks and nibbles so we combined the trip with another family bonding session.

IN SUMMARY

At the end of the year, we’re relieved (though a little sad) to have sold Thelma’s bungalow at last. Despite all Betty’s help it has been an extra responsibility that we might have been less stressed without.

But to compensate (and completely unconnected), we now have to find new business premises and someone to work with Martin. If we get the premises we would like, we will also need to find some people/companies to share it with. But I’m sure Martin will tell you all about that on his page. . .

It has been a stressful year, and I’ve been ill-equipped to cope with it. 2003 was, in many ways, no worse than the few years before it; it was just one bad year too many.

I’m not sure why I look forward to 2004 with such optimism; I suspect it’s because it’s not only an even number, but also one that clearly divides by 4 and it has a pleasant look about it. On the other hand, it could be because I’m beginning to feel at least half human again after such a long time. And for that, I’m truly grateful (despite the acne)!

Last year’s favourite stumbled-upon website?

Probably selected parts of: http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/

WARNING – contains “adult” material, as well as some in bad taste!

However, I’ve just enjoyed

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/pingpong.php
and
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/wireframe.php
is educational & fun.

Have fun with Fotofit on:
http://www.protozoo.com/mutant/en/online.html

and for more background on the Finnish Ambassador’s feelings for foxes:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2002/09/22/nfox22.xml

Christmas comes to a corner of the dresser